May 12, 2011

This is my first post. Not sure exactly where I want to go with this blog. I just know that I need to talk about the issues I deal with on a daily basis involving...food.
I have always had some sort of issue with my weight. I had my moments when i was growing up. Slightly chubby one year than just fine the next. It wasnt til I turned 17 that i started REALLY gaining. I spent the next 10 years at least 100 lbs overweight. Reaching a high of 317 lbs. After i hadmy last child (I have 4) I decided to be HEALTHY. I started weight watchers on August 31, 2009. Been on it ever since then. I also go to the gym 6 days a week. I LOVE to work out now. My family is active and happy. :)
I have lost 113.4 lbs . I have 12-16 lbs to go........
But everyday I deal with food. I think about it 24 hrs a day. I struggle with overeating or binging. I think I eat to hide how I feel. So maybe startig a blog and telling the word how I feel will help  me.
I have been losing steadily on WW for about 1 year before my weightloss stopped. I was put on depression meds and I felt like I lost my motivation. I struggled to lose for mths, gaining some, losing some. WW introduced their new program on November 29th 2010. I was SO excited. I felt like it was the answer to my plateou. I lost for about 3 weeks. Then stopped. I started binging on a weeekly basis. Losing 5 lbs during the week, then gaining it all back on the weekend.
I cant seem to get a handle on this and its out of control. I stopped the "new" program and this week I am back on the old WW program. (actually TODAY is the first day back on) I feel like I am in more control now. I am currently at 185.4 lbs. *GASP* Which is HIGHLY depressing for me. At the beginning ofi March I was 166.4lbs!!!!! The binging is OUT OF CONTROL! I am embrassed, ashamed, and I feel like a failure. I have a youtube channel and I am too upset to post this horrible news there. What happened to me?! Where did the diciplined, strict, happy person go?!?!? I do believe that my current medications are a problem. My weight loss kinda slowed after being put on them. I feel like they make me anti-social, unhappy, and short tempered. I need to get back to where i was. So Im hoping this blog helps....