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These are blogs I wrote on a different site and transferred here.



December 9th, 2010

Posted on December 9, 2010 at 8:09 PMComments comments (1)
Soooooooooo ITS BEEN 2 MTHS!!! So last time i wrote I had been the same weight for 2 mths...well make that 4 mths now. Even if i do the plan i STILL dont lose weight. Its so frustrating!!! HOWEVER Last Monday WW introduced their new plan, POINTSPLUS!!! So many things are different!! I was really looking forward to the new plan becasue I felt like a change would kick start me losing again. I am currently 179.6 lbs...which is less than I was last time i posted, but not much. My goal for the new year was 169...thats not gonna happen. :( With 3 weeks til the new year I will be soooo lucky ( and still soooo happy) to hopefully be 174lbs. I want to start the new year NOT overweight. 174 is my healthy rate range highest. (143-174) So i will have a healthy BMI.
So I need to lose 5 lbs in 3 weeks. I think that is totally doable.
I am still working out 6 days a week. I got injured and had to stop running ( I was running like 20 miles a week) I also lost 2 toe nails from it. But I am stuck on the ellpitical until I heal. I hurt my left hip. So painful!! :( I am also eating very healthy. Especially on the new WW plan. They now calculate fat/carbs/protein/fiber instead of cal/fat/fiber.
I also got a new hair cut. I had gone blond...but because of damage I had to go back to my dark hair and chop it all off.

So I am still trying to get to goal. My goal weight keeps changing. It was 179, than 169, than 164, than 159...lol I have noooo idea. But somewhere in the 160's
I am still new to the PointsPlus program and I am sooo scared that I will not lose weight on it. It seems we are getting more calories now. Idk...we shall see

october 3, 2010

Posted on October 4, 2010 at 1:33 AMComments comments (0)
I just realized that as of today there ar 90 days til the new year. That totally scares the crap out of me!!!! I had some pretty important goals to achieve by than. i will honestly be devastated if i do not reach them!!! I wanted to be 169 by January 1st. Thats 21 more lbs!!!!! Can I possibly lose 21 lbs in 90 days?!? Well i am sure as heck gonna try my best!!
So today starts my 90 day challenge to myself!
Here are my goals:
Stick to this for 90 days...LOL
Work on more crunches
lose 21 lbs
lose inches!
Goal measurements for my 90 days
Waist-  31   (currently 33)

hips-    38   (currently 41)

chest-  36   (currently 38 )

calves-14   (currently 15 1/2)

thighs- 20  (currently 22)

arms-  11   (currently 12 1/2)

neck-   12   (currently 13)
I REALLY want to do this for myself for Christmas. So I think this will motivate me. 90 days!!
These goals are kinda high, but I will settle for weighing 174 lbs....but i wont take any less than that for myself....I am aiming for 169 lbs though!

Whats your goals for the new year?!?!?

October 3. 2010

Posted on October 3, 2010 at 6:28 PMComments comments (0)
Sooo Its been more than a mth since i have written.... AND a mth that i have been on track...than off...than on...than off. I have been the same weight for 2 mths now!!!! Still 190ish. NOT HAPPY. But I can say its ALL MY FAULT. I choose to eat the food. I choose to buy cetain things i KNEW would be a problem. I Choose to not track my food. The only thing I DID do was keep exercising.
If you look at my Weigh ins you will see I gained more than 10 lbs in 2 weeks!!!! I TRULLY gained that weight. No one to blame but myself.
I had been SO strict for 10 mths. No going off the program. But as soon as i hit 100 lbs lost something happened....I felt like "I can eat that...I have lost 100 lbs!" "I dont have to write it down, I know what Im doing. I have lost 100 lbs!" "I dont have to exercise so much, I have lost 100 lbs!!"
NOT GOOD!!! I also decided after a few weeks of trying to get focused again that i need to go back to WW meetings. For support, accountability, and motivation. For two weeks that worked well...I lost over 8 lbs those two weeks...than this past week I started to take bite after bite of foods I hadnt tracked for. And After a horrible week I was actually happy to see I had only gained 1 lb!
I KNOW what I need to do for weight loss. I KNOW what works for me. I KNOW what I can eat and what i cant. So WHY WHY WHY am I not doing it?!?!?!? Its also the darn diet coke!!!!
So as of today I am making just 2 goals for this week...
I need to get to goal....I NEED to get on track. So far this week I am. Everytime I go to take a random bite i say  "I am making a consious decison to put this in my mouth.." USUALLY this works and i put the food down.
I also started taking my vitamins that a friend who owns a vitamin store suggested for me.

Chromium Picolinate
The Glucomannan is a natural dietary supplement. Because of its fiber it can assist with weight loss and healthy weight maintenance by expanding in the stomach and absorbing
fats. Absorbed fats are eliminated from the body and do not undergo
digestion, thus nullifying their caloric effect.Glucomannan is a fiber that actually expands in your stomach to make you feel full. It also absorbs certain fat cells and keeps them from being processed. IT WORKS! I really do eat less.
And the Chromium Picolinate is AMAZING!!!
Chromium picolinate has been touted as a breakthrough in glucose and fat
metabolism, weight loss and management of high blood pressure and
cholesterol. When chromium, a basic... nutrient, is combined with picolinic
acid, chromium picolinate is created. Chromium picolinate reduces sugar
and carbohydrate cravings. It also suppresses the appetite, which is
how it can help lead to weight loss.
It helps with carb and sugar cravings. Which is my MAIN problem!!
So as long as I take those before i eat I do pretty well. I am less likely to overeat, binge, and take random bites.
I am so tired of disappointng all the people who look to me for inspiration so Wish me luck!!! and willpower!

Agust 27, 2010

Posted on August 27, 2010 at 3:47 PMComments comments (0)
           Sooo for the first time in almost a year I went off weight watchers for a whole week. :O I have nooo idea why. I was having a hard time giving up the diet coke AGAIN...and I was hungry ALL the time and i was tired of counting points, calories, fat, carbs...ext. I just wanted to be normal. But instead i gained 3 lbs and realized i cannot do this on my own. i NEED the ww plan to keep me accountable and on track. I have been trying everyday this week to get back on plan and it has been SO hard! So I am going to do a 10 week challenge (til halloween) and these are my goals to get back on track.
1.) I NEED to plan my menu ahead of time. So I wont overeat or eat the wrong things..
2.) Only eat what i planned to or something of equal points. STOP THE RANDOM BITES OF FOOD!!
3.) Stop eating after 7:30pm
4.) Do not eat my AP points and only 10 of my bonus pts if NEEDED
5.) Be honest with myself!!
6,.) Limit soda and try to stop drinking it
7.) 6 hrs in the gym a week (run 10 miles a week at least)
8.) Count ALLLL my points
9.) Drink 64 oz of plain water a day
10.) Salad before lunch and dinner
11.)Stay out of the kitchen
12.) Stay busy when tempted
13.) take vitamins
14.) Lose 10 lbs (179)
15.) Comfortably fit into a size 12...
So those are my goals. i have started running this week again. i stopped a while ago and realized I LOVE it and need to do it again. i like challenging myself. I ran 4 5k's this week and I want to improve my time. I am averaging 38 min. My husband and I are going to train to do a Triaththon next year together. Im excited.
I made my goal of losing 100 lbs by my 1 year on WW date. Which is August 31. I have hit it a while ago. But since than I got lazy...REALLLY lazy. So now I need to make goals again because that is what motivates me. So here are some BIG weight goals...
1.) I want to be 179 by October 31, 2010]
2.) I want to be 164 by Christmas 2010
164 is my WW GOAL weight. When I get there I will reevaluate and see if I need to lose more. I would love to be 159. We will see.....

August 20, 2010

Posted on August 21, 2010 at 12:07 AMComments comments (1)
         I am a compulsive overeater and I have binge eating disorder. Plain as that. I have not truly binged since Novemember..BUT I deal with these dieases EVERYDAY!!! I could EASILY eat 10,000 calories a day and still feel like eating MORE.
The relationship I have with food is dysfunctional and wrong, yet it has a strange hold on me. I know I need to get away but somehow I just can't.
I try not to think about it, but i am reminded everytime I look at the mirror or photos. The stretch marks that line my body remind me so painfully of the abuse that I have inflicted on myself.
I always wear baggy clothes to try and hide from the world, hoping they wont see what i have done to myself. I thought by losing weight i wouldnt be reminded, but the skin that hangs is just another reminder.
I hate to smile while I'm crying inside, and I hate to watch the skinny people eat without a care about calories, or carbs, or points. Food rules my life still. I wish I could just LET GO> RELAX. BE NORMAL. I wish i could just wake up, eat when Im hungry, not  think about food EVERY second of my life. I feel like my struggles are starting to wear off on my daughter. I dont want her to go through the emotional roller coaster that i go everyday. I dont want this misery for her!!! I hate living like this. I feel isolated. NOBODY (that i know) understands what I go through.
Somedays i dont even want to get out of bed...because i know that kitchen is waiting for me...As soon as I step into the kitchen the day begins with this war with food. My husband just tells me to eat when i am hungry....to just not think about it, to eat NORMAL portions. And this PISSES me off, because he has NO clue HOW MUCH I TRY!!!!!!!! I wish he would TRY to understand.
I want this war to end...but I guess this is my lot in life. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger...or fatter.
I feel like Im swimming in mud.....like Im a slave...and the more i try to get away....the tighter the hold gets.
I need to learn to process my emotions instead of stuffing them down with food. People who binge eat or compulsively overeat often do so to "stuff down" painful emotions that they do not want to face. I know eating disorders are symptoms of deeper issues, not the issue itself. I just need to find that DEEPER issue.....
I hate living my life like this.......I feel like Im so alone.....

July 28, 2010

Posted on July 29, 2010 at 12:18 AMComments comments (1)
Soooo I am not even sure anyone reads my blog...or looks at my website. BUT I feel down today and I need to talk to someone...so It will be here.
I dont know how to put into words what i want to say....I dont want it to come out wrong...but here it is
I SUCK!!! I just feel so depressed about my weight loss. Everyone is like, "AW you look so great!!! You must be soooo proud!!"
NO! I am not proud. I am pissed off at myself for doing this (being fat) to myself. I am so mad at the damage I have done to myself. All the hard work in the WORLD cannot fix what i have done. I lost 100 lbs so far....but the more weight I loss its like the more mad I get. I work out so hard, I am always in the gym, I eat right, I take my vitamins, Im active....and what do I get??? I traded fat for sag. I feel just as big as when i started. When people see me they say i am so thin. I really just want to cry when they say that. I AM NOT!!! I have rolls EVERYWHERE! I am so unhappy with the outcome so far and I still have 30 lbs to go.  what will I look like than????? Will I ever be considered thin by starngers?? Will I ever FEEL NORMAL???!!!
Thats all I have ever wanted. TO BE A NORMAL SIZE. Someone said well technoically I am normal because the average size of a women in the US is 14...and Iam a 12/14. Whatever.....
I still try to cover up as much as I can. I dont wear anything form fitting. Will that ever change??? I change my clothes so much in the morning.....everytime i look in the mirror I see FAT. :(
Dont get me wrong most of the time I am SO happy. Usually I dont stand in the mirror and critique myself. But I do have days where i do...and today is one of them. I want to be attractive. Ya I am married, but sometimes its nice to have someone notice you for a sec.....
When i was 289 lbs I had guys ask me out, ask for my number, follow me around the store...yadayadyada... NOW??? NOT ONE GUY HAS TAKEN EVEN A SECOND LOOK.
I am happily married and shouldnt care less...but I do. To me when someone notices me i feel good. My husband barley says anything to me about how i look. Is it so wrong to want to feel pretty?!?! I FEEL SO UNATTRACTIVE.
I am happy I lost weight. For my health and my kids. I just want to feel pretty again.....I just feel saggy, frumpy, unattracive, and LARGE.
However this is how I feel today.......tomorrow Ill feel better I hope....

July 21, 2010

Posted on July 21, 2010 at 8:43 PMComments comments (0)
Soooo its been over a mth since i have updated my blog. :( Not much has happened. i reached 100 lbs lost last week, and than gained 2 lbs. :( I started teaching some Zumba at our local gym. LOVE it!!! I have changed my goal weight to 159 lbs. I have has alot of issues with food the past couple weeks. (check out my youtube channel for that mess...lol) (channel link on home page)
I am still going. Still on weight watchers, still working hard.
I did however offically get out of the plus size sections of stores!! Im offically too small!!!!!!!

I am a large/ Xlarge shirt in regular womens sizes...I even own a medium that FITS!!! Iam now a size 12/14 in pants. Mostly 12's but some jeans are a 14. :)

Im so excited for those accomplishments. :)


Posted on June 17, 2010 at 5:03 PMComments comments (0)

So yesterday (June 16th 2010) was the FIRST TIME EVER my scale had said i was 199.2 lbs! ONDERLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its not offical yet. LOL My weigh in is not til Monday ( changed it this week from Saturdays to Mondays)
BUT I really really hope it says that on Monday too!!!!!!! :D

June 7th, 2010

Posted on June 7, 2010 at 5:05 PMComments comments (0)
I thought maybe if I wrote down how i  feel, or what I think my issues are i will understand them better. I have lost almost 90lbs so far. I have 30 lbs to go. HOWEVER, I think that even though after all this time (9mths) i have changed my eating habits tremendously and i eat WAY WAY WAY healthier than i used to,but I still have a eating problem. I like to eat alot. Sometimes i save up my points so i can eat ALOT of food at once. Usually for dinner or after dinner. I can eat HUGE amounts. Now, no where what I used to be able to eat, but still.  I have issues with binge eating. I have not actually BINGED since November 16th 2009 ( SO HAPPY FOR THAT!!!!!!!!!!) I classify a binge as eating and eating and eating til I want to throw up and than still eating some more. and My binges would last alll day, or even sometimes for DAYS. Eating whole pizzas (sometimes more than one), whole packages of doughnuts or cookies, whole loafs of bread, a whole cake or pie, and huge amounts of fast food. (Thats like 1 day) I could easily consume 10,000 calories in one day. Easy.
I am not THAT girl anymore. Since starting weight watchers i have only GAINED weight 3 times. The first 2 times were in the first 2 mths I started and it was 5 lbs each time because I binged. The third was because i switched to meetings and weighed with clothes and on a different scale. Thats it. Other than those 2 binges I have NEVER gone off program. I have always counted my points. But when i talk about huge amounts of food now I mean I ate all my bonus points Sat and Sun. Just by snacking allll day.
But I feel that because i can do that, I haven't shrunk my stomach. I am always trying to see how MUCH food I can eat without going over my points. A apple? or 2 pieces of toast with ICBINB spray? Both are 1 pt...I usually choose the bread.
I dont just want to LOSE WEIGHT. I want to BE HEALTHY. I want to eat NORMAL servings of food. I dont think anything I eat is a NORMAL serving. Like with applesauce, I buy the natural unsweetened and have 3 servings and its 2 pts and i just add splenda. 3 servings! Or I have 2 packets of Oatmeal for breakfast. 1 would SO not even do anything for me. I would STARVE. lol
I need to be normal. Does that make sense? Sorry this is soooo long. Its just hard to explain how i feel.
I have recently stopped eating normal dinners with my family. Because it is less points to make a whole batch of  WW pancakes and eat all of it. 7pts for all 6. ( I dont add the egg so its less pts)
My usual dinners usually average 9-12pts and Id rather eat the pancakes. I also recently stopped eating so much fruits and veggies and replaced them with fiber bars or homemade milkshakes because its more food. I need advice on how to LIKE veggies, how to eat normal amounts and not starve, how to be healthy, how NOT to become the 289 lb girl i was. Cause i swear she is hiding around the corner waiting to take over again. I exercise insanely. I got that down. I LOVE to workout. usually 1-3 hrs a day. and strength training.
Its my eating habits that dont seem to have changed in the quantity sense. How do I shrink my stomach? How do I be ok with a cup of rice...or a cup of ANYTHING. I make Spaghetti and I usually eat 1/4 of the pan. And I would STILL be hungry.
Anyway, thats what I need to work on. Portion control....

May 29, 2010

Posted on May 30, 2010 at 7:10 PMComments comments (0)
So I always thought that when I lost weight Id be happy. I thought that was the reason I didnt love myself. But after losing 88lbs I am starting to think thats not true. I have worse self esteem problems now. The loose skin has turned into a huge issue. I cant wear tank tops or shorts because of it. I just hope someday I can really love myself and except me for me...
I dont have a weight goal. But I will now when I am there by 3 things
* When I no longer have rolls on my back. ( the thing I MOST hate about being overweight, at least for me)

*When I no longer shop in ANY plus size section of any store.

*and when my calfs are a normal size..LOL

May 29, 2010

Posted on May 30, 2010 at 6:36 PMComments comments (0)
So I am starting week 3 of my 30 day challenge. :) My goals were :
Starting May 15th and ending June 15th

* to  STOP taking mindless bites of EVERYTHING. ( I am constantly taking a bite here and there and thinking,oh its just a bite...or two. They add up)
*UPDATE: I am STILL taking bites of everything, but I guess because i exercise so much it doesnt affect me. HOWEVER, I am trying to write everything down now...
* Get my 5 servings or more of fruits and veggies in everyday
*UPDATE: I am still NOT getting them in. BUT I am at least getting one of each a day. Im gonna try harder.
* 60-90 min CARDIO 6x's a week/ Strength training 4 x's a week
*UPDATE: I AM doing this. :) I am getting I have been doing 10 hrs of cardio a week
* 200 crunches a day
*UPDATE I did this for the first week and a half, I am starting it again today. :)
*1 serving of bread a day...( I LOVE BREAD)
*UPDATE WOW, I am sooo glad I am reviewing my goals. Cause I havnt done this one either!!! :(
* I will NOT eat my Bonus pts (maybe 2 activity pts a day...when hungry and only protein)
*UPDATE This was my plan, but becase I exercised so much I wasnt lose weight. So I ate my bonus pts and thats when I have lost. So as for now I eat when I need it. i was also getting way too hungry.
*Lose 10 lbs by June 15th (199 lbs)
*UPDATE I have lost 7.6 lbs so far and I am only half way there! :)
*Get into a size 16
*UPDATE  I AM IN A SIZE 16. AND They are alittle BIG!!! *SHOCK*
So thats my updates on my goals for the 30 days. I also want to lose inches, but I am not taking measurments until June 15th. i think I am doing great. I may be slacking on some minor things, but the scale is showing me AWESOME numbers. i cannot wait until its says 199 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May 21, 2010

Posted on May 21, 2010 at 2:40 PMComments comments (1)
Its the SMALL victories that gets us through. Like that fact that I took a shower last night and a normal towel fit ALL the way around me and overlapped. I cannot remember the last time I was able to do that. Maybe when i was 16? That may not be huge...but its what keeps me going....

May 15, 2010

Posted on May 15, 2010 at 1:27 PMComments comments (0)
30 DAY CHALLENGE STARTS TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Weigh in was 209 lbs today...I plan to be 199 lbs on June 15th...Its my Onderland challenge!!!!
I took my meaurments again today. Since September I have lost 42 inches total. 10 in from my hips, 9 in from my waist, 7inches from my chest :(, 4 in from each thigh, 2 in from each arm, 1 1/2 in from my right calf, 1 in from my left calf, and 1 1/2 in from my neck! :)

May 13, 2010

Posted on May 13, 2010 at 4:10 PMComments comments (0)
Sooooo It has been like a mth!!! I actually got a comment on my blog that someone wanted me to update! LOL That made me feel good. I guess i dont update as much because I dont think people are watching. LOL
My last update was that I received my 50 lb weight from weight watchers. I have received my 75lb weight now. BUT I also had to quit going to the meetings because the meeting I could go to they canceled and I didnt have a babysitter for the other times. Sooo I am weighing in at home as of this week. :( Oh well. STILL ON WEIGHT WATCHERS. I cannot believe i  have lost what i have so far. i have never weighed this amount in my adult life. I have never lost this much weight. and i have never stayed on a program for this long. This is my 38th week on weight watchers. i plan to stay on this program forever! I never feel deprived or hungry or like I am on a diet. I just like how it tells me, "OK, its time to stop eating..you had enough." LOL
Whats new...
I performed Zumba at our local Spring arts festival with my YMCA
I CUT OFF 14 INCHES OF MY HAIR!!!! (still trying to get used to it)
I got offered a job at our ymca to become Zumba certified and teach! :0
I have some friends doing weight watchers also
So not much, but to me those are BIG things.My hair was the biggest. The MAIN REASON I cut my hair was because I work out so often. My hair normally took over a hr to blow dry and style and I rarely had the time. So I just felt like it wasnt getting washed enough. Soooo I chopped it off. Now i can blow dry and style in less than 10 min and i wash my hair all the time. :) I feel MUCH BETTER. And cleaner. LOL I just miss my long hair. But I am a mom of 4 and i needed to be practical.
I have been slacking in my weight loss i feel. I am still losing, but i do not feel like i am eating enough fruits/veggies and stuff. I feel like i eat WAY too many carbs and i am going to work on that. Also my exercise has really been lacking. i am still going  1 time a day to the gym Mon-Fri. BUT My body doesnt burn the calories it used to, so i need to add more cardio.
I was thinking last night...10 more lbs and I will be out of the 200's!!! THATS HUGE!!!! I decided i want to do a 1mth bootcamp. I want to lose 10 lbs in 1mth. Also I want to HOPEFULLY go down to a size 16 by than too.
I am going to do the following to achieve this.....
Starting May 15th and ending June 15th

* STOP taking mindless bites of EVERYTHING. ( I am constantly taking a bite here and there and thinking,oh its just a bite...or two. They add up)

* Get my 5 servings or more of fruits and veggies in everyday

* 60-90 min CARDIO 6x's a week/ Strength training 4 x's a week
* 200 crunches a day

*1 serving of bread a day...( I LOVE BREAD)

* I will NOT eat my Bonus pts (maybe 2 activity pts a day...when hungry and only protein)
*Lose 10 lbs by June 15th (199 lbs)

*Get into a size 16
Thats what i can think of right now, but Ill add to it when i think of more things.
I exercise alot, but i have noticed my stomach is soooo neglected. I dont do any ab exercises so i really want to focus on that to drop a size..
My eating hasnt been to bad. I dont eat junk food and i eat pretty healthy. I write down everything i eat everyday. HOWEVER....as i mentioned, I randomly take bites of everything and never count it.Like if i made the kids mac and cheese...Ill take like 4 bites before i give it to them....thats probaly 3 pts!!! I also eat all my bonus pts every week, which I am gonna try and not to. I am getting closer to my goal. Its in my sight.
My FINAL goal is still undecided. I made 174lbs my weight watcher goal because thats when i am considered a healthy weight for my height by my BMI. HOWEVER.
...I have NO idea what my body will look like because I havnt been that weight since i was 16...and i wore extremely baggy closes at 16 because i felt fat...:(
I feel like the more I lose, the more I get self conscious. Maybe because more people are noticing that i have lost weight. But I have lost 80 lbs....I DO NOT feel like it. And I am STILL shopping in the plus sizes...:(
I exercise so much because I am trying to prevent the saggy skin that happens when someone loses alot of weight. So far I cant tell if its helping. My inner t
highs are saggy. I HATE IT.
I have lots of work ahead of me. And I do the work gladly. I have like 35 lbs to my first goal (174lbs) and i would LOVE to make that by Christmas. :) Also I want to lose 100 lbs in a yr...which will be September 5th...20 more lbs to go till than.
Anyway, I totally rambled on and on. I have alot of goals for myself. And they need to be completed soon. ...first one is my 1 mth challenge...gonna go start planning for that!!
Heres my hair!!

April 17, 2010

Posted on April 18, 2010 at 1:22 AMComments comments (0)
Im so surprised and happy right now!! Today at my meeting (I lost 1.4 lbs) my weight watcher leader took me aside and gave me my 10 % keychain and 50 lb weight/charm!!!!!!!!!!! Im shocked because i havnt lost all my weight going to meetings. I did weight watchers on my own for the first like 60lbs. :) She said i defiently earned it. Im so happy. It meant so much to me!! She said 2.4 lbs more til I get my 75 lb weight/charm. YA!!! :)

April 16. 2010

Posted on April 16, 2010 at 11:26 AMComments comments (1)
SOOOOOOOOO I guess my weekly summary isnt going too well. I just keep forgetting. BUT what matters is im still OP. :) I have lost 71.2 lbs so far and I made my birthday goal and was 219 lbs than. I am 218.4 lbs as of my last weigh in. HOWEVER this week I havnt seen a loss on my scale. In fact it showed I was up...:( I hope tomorrow i have a loss. ANY loss. Ill even take .2 lbs. :)
I just realized I have 21 weeks til I reach my 1 year on weight watchers. I wanted to loss 100 lbs in a year. Hopefully i do. I have 29 lbs to lose by September 5th. I hope i can do that. Its like 1.5 lbs a week average loss. Right now im averaging over 2 lbs a week. So hopefully i dont hit a plateau. I like working for a goal. It keeps me motivated. :)

March 30th, 2010 NSV

Posted on March 30, 2010 at 4:28 PMComments comments (0)
ok....I am sofreaking excited right now and i have no idea how to put it into words...but im gonna try.
In 2004 I weighed about 315lbs. One night i told my husband that i was gonna put my shoes on and go 'jog'. I ran a block before I was out of breath and thought i was dying. I turned around and cried the whole way home. That was the end of my jogging.
Yesterday my kids were all sick and my first thought was "I cant go to the gym!!" lol I tried numerous times to put on a workout DVD but I never even got to push play. I had a almost 9 mth old always demanding my attention, and a 1, 3 and 6 yr old in bed with the flu. I was back and forth between each kid all day. My mom came over last night and after i put them to bed and I asked if maybe i could walk to the store to get milk. That would be some exercise. The store was about 3 blocks away. Not really my idea of a good workout but it was better than nothing. She said yes. :)
So i got my ipod and went for it. I walked out my door and looked  down the road. One way was the store, the other way was the way I TRIED to jog years ago. For some reason i decided to try it again. Jog that is. I turned on the ipod and started jogging. Years ago i had mapped out a 1.6 mile loop from my house to walmart. I decided to TRY and make it jogging at least there. I freakin jogged there, back to my house, back to walmart,than back to my house again. 3.2 miles...WITHOUT STOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It took me exactly 40 min, which I think is just awesome.
I am no longer that girl 6 yrs ago. I have lost close to 70 lbs and i am more athletic than ever. All this time I have been losing weight I have avoided trying to jog because I didnt want to disappoint myself. And here I just jogged 3.2 miles my first attempt!!!!!! I am soooo happy. I amazed myself. I have been underestimating myself all this time. I wont anymore. And now, I plan to  jog more. Im going again tonight!! :)


March 27 th, 2010

Posted on March 27, 2010 at 4:00 PMComments comments (0)
I decided I am going to try and write once a week and let you know how that week went on weight watchers and what i learned or did differently.

I lost 2 lbs this week and I started really getting in my GHG's: 2 milk servings, 2 oil servings, 5 fruits and veggies, water, and my vitamin everyday.
I am also having a tiny problem adjusting to 29 points a day. I started at like 37 points. Plus with 2 pts going to my oil, another 2-4 for my milk, and 2-5 for my fruits and veggies its hard to be satisfied on  like 18-20 pts. BUT I just need to learn to eat more filling foods.I am still working out 5 days a week and I love it. This week I had about 16 of my bonus points. and I earned 30 AP. :)

31 weeks on Weight watchers now.:) I have lost 66 lbs and i am feeling wonderful. So many changes in my daily life and my body. Some positive, others not so much. I am deathly afraid of loose skin and it looks to me like i will not avoid that. *SIGH* as much as i like to think i can lose weight and get my old body back that does not seem to be realistic. LOL
I weigh 223 lbs. Almost what i was when I got married 7 yrs ago. HOWEVER my body is NO WHERE NEAR what it looked like than. Gaining and losing weight, having four kids. My poor body. BUT I will not let it get me down. I did this to myself and i cant think there would be no consequences.
As for my diet I have not had a OFF day since November and with every day i am more and more sure that this is my life now. Weight watchers is my life. All the changes i have been making are changes forever. I have a new motto and I love it.
"Dont do today what you cannot do forever." and it works for me soooooooo well. I am just so much more happy. I still have so far to go, but i am hoping to be at my goal...or super close by Christmas this year. The weight seems to really be coming off really slow lately. But my leader says the slower you take off weight the more likely it is gone forever. :) I just need to remember slow and steady wins the race. :)
My husband and I are getting much closer. I am still WAY self conscious about my body and probably always will. But he has been so loving and supportive lately. He has started showing me TONS of attention. Maybe more than i would like. LOL

March 18th, 2010

Posted on March 18, 2010 at 12:10 PMComments comments (0)
WOW, It has been a while, huh??? Not sure where to start. I have so much to say. LOL It has been really hard to find the time to update this site with 4 kids. :) But I am working on it. Nothing bugs me more than going on someones weightloss website and they stopped updating it like 2 yrs ago!! So I promise never to let that happen to mine.
As you can see from my progress page I am still on weight watchers and still losing weight!! I have joined the weight watcher meetings 3 weeks ago and i REALLY like it! I am so excited to still be on track 30 weeks later!! I love weight watchers. This has really been a lifestyle change and I am so proud of myself!
I am down to 29 pts a day. I started at 37 pts a day. BIG change!! But I have been eating more fruits and veggies and that is helping me. Im still exercising 5 days a week. Not twice a day though. Except Thursdays.
I have lost 64.2 lbs!!!!!!!!!
I have 50 lbs more to go. And It seems so doable. When i started it was 110 lbs. That number was scary!!!! Im wearing my friends XL shirts. I had the same ones but in 3XL. THAT makes me soooo happy.
I have been a super active mommy. I play with my kids so much! Im not so tired anymore and I feel ALIVE!!! Moving is not so much work anymore. :)
Anyway, I will try and update soon!

January 25, 2010

Posted on January 29, 2010 at 5:35 PMComments comments (1)
So I lost another 2 lbs this past week. However, (since I weigh myself everyday) I havnt lost anything this week yet and its Friday. Im getting frustrated. I have done everything right. Drank my water, gave up soda, I exercise 10 hours a week!! I eat really healthy foods. I dont eat out. I even started tracking on sparkpeople for a few days to get a idea of how many caloreis, fat, carbs. fiber, protein and sodium I get a day. Im doing everything right. And I think I exercise twice as much as most people and I do REALLY hard work outs. So just yesterday i burned 1200 calories in my workout and I ate great. Tues I worked out for 3 hours, 1500 cal. So there SHOULD be a pound right there!!!! And it isnt there. I dont go over my weight watcher points and i stay motivated. This is why people give up...not that I plan to, but its upseting.

January 18, 2010

Posted on January 18, 2010 at 12:18 PMComments comments (1)
Soooo, 21 weeks on weight watchers!!!  Almost 5 mths. And I have stuck to it. Which is a first for me This is the longest i have ever tried to lose weight...EVER!! and I am constantly losing EVERY week ( except for my 2 gains, which is when I went off the program) but every week I have stayed op I have lost weight. :)
47 lbs in 21 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!
I cannot believe the changes in me. And I cant wait to take my measurements in February AND I cant wait for the last 3 lbs to reach 50 LBS!! I am thinking in short goals. The big picture is just scary. which is I have lost 47 lbs of my 110 lb goal.
The past 2 weeks I have lost 1 lb. And i was literally depressed. I wanted at least 2 lbs. Everyone was saying AT LEAST it was a loss..which I should have been happy about, but wasnt. So i talked to a personal trainer at my gym and she said i probably wasnt eating enough. HUH???? So fine, I switched back to the regular ww plan. Flex. No more wendie plan. On the wendie plan I was eating a average of 30 pts...varying them through out the week. Now i am having 33 pts a day. And im so much happier. LOL also i was eating some of my bonus points during the week, for a bite here and there. And i lost 4 LBS!!!!
Its so weird. But I feel awesome and i just hope this week I can lost 2-3 lbs. I desperately want to be under 240, but i might have to wait two weeks for that.
I love all the support i get on line from youtube and from my friends at the gym, AND my husband and mom have actually been supportive in their own ways....BUT  My best friend doesnt even acknowledge that I have lost ANYTHING. and its been 47 lbs!! It hurts. Not one word about it, and I have even brought it up. oh well.
Anyway, if you are trying to lose weight STICK TO IT!!! It will work. Make it a habit. Now its a habit to go to the gym, or pick healthier foods.
ALSO>...I HAVNT HAD ONE SIP OF SODA IN 2010!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HUGE accomplishment!!!!!!!!!!! HUGE!!

January 11, 2010

Posted on January 11, 2010 at 11:01 AMComments comments (0)
WOOOOOOOOW, It has been AWHILE!!! Things have been crazy since the new year. But in a good way. Im am injury free (as of right now) and Im still losing weight. Im am just a little depressed though over the past two weeks. 1 lb a week!!!! I work out so hard and It is just a sad number. I want to lose 2 lbs a week!!!! I am hoping for two lbs this week so i can bring my weight loss to 45 lbs. I cant wait till I reach 50 lbs gone!!! 6 more lbs.  I gave up soda!!!!! I have not had a soda this year at all, not a lick, drop, or even a smell. LOL Im so proud. BUT I havnt had soda for the past two weeks and I have only lost 1 lb those weeks...I wonder if its conected??? Werid. Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Check out my YouTube channel, its where I tell my weight loss every week.....:) Address for that is on my home page!!!

December 26, 2009

Posted on December 27, 2009 at 1:31 AMComments comments (0)
WOW....so its been a while. Christmas got be behind on my blogging. But Im BACK!!
So today I watched Food,inc.  Its amazing the way we think we are eating something healthy  and its not. I have been buying "HEALTHY" food for the past 4 mths, (lost 40 lbs , yay me) BUT its sad to know that it isnt exactly right either. I hate feeding my kids stuff thats basically just chemicals. I dont understand how food got the way it is now. I felt so bad for the animals!! Im not sure what Im going to do...but i know our diet is getting a overhaul! LOL Starting on the 1st (when I get money...LOL) we are going to really try to eat healthy. Im going to do alot of reading until then, I want to be as knowledgeable as possible. I cant believe that little boy died from eating a HAMBURGER!!!! People will probaly call me parinoid but  I dont care. This is MY body! I truly hope I can make this work (eating natural, non processed foods) that my family will like. I am going to start buying more organic.Wish me luck! LOL

December 16, 2009

Posted on December 16, 2009 at 3:56 PMComments comments (0)
WOW....well, first...I cant beilieve Christmas is gonna be here soon!!!! Where did the time go?? Today i have offically surpassed the longest time i have been on weight watchers. 16 weeks and 3 days. woohoo!!!!!
I totally am starting to feel it. The boredom, the justifiying. Im worried....I noticed this week that I have been taking bites...here and there. A few pretzels here, a spoon of peanut butter there, a bite of the kids mac and cheese...or two. This is how it has always ended. I have always given up before being in the 240's. I dont understand why?!! I dont want me to give up. I want to keep going. I NEED to lose the weight. I have been guessing points too...:ohmy:...if u know me thats NOT me! i weigh, meaure, calculate everything!! Im getting lazy. I dont want to be a failure. I need to remotivate myself to keep going.
If i bite it...i will write it...even if i dont want to. er! I let myself get this big....now i need to face the consequences. It took me yrs to gain weight...it will take about that to lose it. With LOTS of hard work and veggie burgers..LOL
My other issue lately has been....LOOSE SKIN. I have such a fear of that. I have never liked myself. My self esteem has always been extra low so trading fat for loose skin wont make me feel good about myself. I still feel i will feel the same about myself. Im gonna try and change the way i think, but its so hard. My husband doesnt find me attractive now...why would he with loose skin??
Im just having a bad week. Its only wednesday so I have 4 more days to make it a great week. I can do it. and make it to week 17!

December 11, 2009

Posted on December 11, 2009 at 6:36 PMComments comments (0)
Well, another week almost over. I hid the scale this time and refused to weigh myself everyday. LOL I am just gonna weigh in Monday and accept my results. I went from the normal Weight watchers plan to the Wendie weight watchers plan. Where I vary my points and instead of 35 points a day i average 30 a day. I really believed 35 was too many. That was like over 2000 calories or right around there. So now My week looks like this.....
POINTS TARGET - 30 (Weigh 250 - 274 lbs)
Day 1 - 31 points
Day 2 - 28points
Day 3 - 40 points  Super High Day (SHD)
Day 4 - 28 points
Day 5 - 30 points
Day 6 - 29 points
Day 7 - 27 points
Which is much better than 35 points a day PLUS 35 bonus points a week. I think I am doing well this week. It was a little hard on this eating plan since it wasnt what I was used to, but Im eating healthier. :)
I am still going to the gym even though I hurt both ankles and both knees. My left ankle hurts the worst and i wrap it before i go and it seems to be working great. I also put suede on the bottom of my shoes for Zumba class and my knees feel sooooo much better.
I also started on the treadmil....my enemy! I hate it. I usually get shin splints. I started walking on it for 15 min a day. This will be my third day. First day i walked for 12 min, ran for 3. Second day I walked for 9 min and ran for six. Today I plan on doing a 13  min mile,. so running maybe 7-8 min...im proud of myself. i havnt ran in more than 15 yrs!!!!!!!!!!

December 7, 2009

Posted on December 9, 2009 at 12:40 AMComments comments (0)
I made it to week 15 already....wow...I have had two gains in the 15 weeks, both 5 lbs. NOT good. BUT those were my only gains. I have lost weight every other week and I am so proud for that. I have finally made it to 30 lbs. 30 lbs gone FOREVER! Im 259 lbs now. I want to be 255 lbs by the new year. So werid this year is almost over. Funny how time goes by so fast. Funny how I have spent my entire adult life...over weight. Im 27, I would like to spend the last of my 20's thin, healthy  and actually feel GOOD about myself.
I am going to the doctor tomorrow for my ankle. It is kiling me. However, I wrapped it and while it is wrapped it feels soooo much better. In fact I only took off Saturday and Sunday from exercising. I did a spin class on Monday and today I did Spin class in the am and my Zumba class in the pm. I was so surprised I made it throught the whole class. :) yay me.. I decided I wasnt going to let bad knees and a sore ankle keep me from working out. I LOVE working out. I feel so good when i do. I headed to the gym Monday after i read this...
"Unless you faint, puke or die, KEEP MOVING!" - Jillian Michaels
I wonder if its possible to weigh 249 by January 1st? I think that may be asking alittle much...to lose 10 lbs in 3 weeks...lol, but i can dream, right?

December 5, 2009

Posted on December 5, 2009 at 7:13 PMComments comments (0)
Wow...I am writing so much more than i thought I would.
*SIGH* Today was a horrible horrible day. I have been depressed about my pain in my legs and today I didnt follow my weight watchers plan. I KNOW i ate more than i should of. And it saddens me. I know tomorrow is another day....but I feel like i failed myself.... What if i gained the weight  I would lose this week? What is I GAIN this week????

December 4, 2009

Posted on December 5, 2009 at 12:24 AMComments comments (0)
I have never been so upset!! ( ok, maybe I have...Im just being dramatic) Im so mad that i have gotten myself where i am physically.Why do bad things happen to me so often??? I havnt taken care of myself in YEARS!!! A DECADE! And i am paying for it now, so badly.
My bones are literally giving up. I need to go to the doctor, and I need to take a break from exercising. WHICH KILLLLLS me. I cried alll night. Why me? I am just getting into exercising. I LOVE IT!!! I live at the gym. It makes me so happy. I have a goal to be a fitness instructer. And all that came crashing down. From my knees down I am in soooooooooooo much pain. I cry, I cannot sleep right, it hurts to walk...it just hurts to sit here. I have no idea why. My knees are so swollen, as are my ankles. Im retaining water and It hurts to just touch my legs. I workout until i couldnt even lift my leg.
I did this to myself. I got fat. My weight is hurting me now. AND I drink at LEAST 2 gallons of diet coke a day. for the last 10 yrs. I just read online that that alone weaken and eats at your bones!! No wonder i am in pain. Im so mad. As of tonight...NO MORE SODA.....
Iam the most upset that....how will I lose weight if i cant workout??????? Im gonna have saggy skin more now since i cannot exercise. Im so upset. So scared. And I have no one to blam but myself!!!!!!

December 3, 2009

Posted on December 3, 2009 at 3:26 PMComments comments (0)
SOOOO this week has not been fantastic.:( Aunt Flow is visiting and she is doing her best to bring me down emotionaly and that is affecting my work outs. I have been going to the gym for about two mths now. But the last three weeks i have been going twice a day. I take a class in the am and pm. I burn about 1200- 1700 calories a day doing this. I bought a really cool watch (HR monitor) and it tells me the calories i burn. Its a really good one. (I saw it on Dr. Phil) Anyway, I just havnt been INTO the exercise.
I was asked last week to become a fitness instructer for our gym. Teaching Zumba. They want me to go in July to get certified. But lately i have just been feeling the pressure of losing at least 60 lbs in the 8 mths. She said i didnt NEED to. But I wouldnt feel right teaching people to exercise and being a bad example myself. I have come to LOVE working out. I am at the gym 3-4 hrs a day lately. But it has taken its toll on my knees which hurt sooooo bad from carrying my weight around. I weigh 260 lbs right now. I want to be 199 by the time i go get certified and than lose more weight till I get to a healthy range. I am 5 ' 11 so I need to get down to 179 at LEAST.
Anyway, I just feel discouraged this week. No energy, so many cravings to deal with, and than the thought that...im not good enough tomake it to my goal of teaching fitness. I just feel like i will never get there....hopefully i feel more myself soon!!


Posted on November 30, 2009 at 3:49 PMComments comments (0)
So, i am sitting here looking at all of  they  blogs and profiles and iam getting really depressed. How did I get where I am? And why cant iget back?
I want to run with my kids and clean my house withoutgetting exhaused. I want to WANT to play with them, not be lazy. I wantto go swimming without thinking about how i feel fat. I want to whereclothes that are comfortable and clothes that fit the weather. I wantto wake up one day and not think of my weight at all. i want to behappy, thin, and healthy. I hate looking in the mirrior and hatingmyself. I hate not having fun or really enjoying myself because of myweight. I hate when people look at me and i just KNOW they are judgingme.
I hate plus size clothes and not being able to look cute.
MOSTOF ALL....I hate knowing that my life is in jeapordy, my family and friends are dissappointed in me, and my family and friends may lose mesomeday soon because i am not changing my life. I hate that i know allthis and still DO NOTHING to fix it...............why????