I weighed in Sunday at :
184.2 lbs
-2.6 lbs
Starting weight : 289.6lbs
Last week... 186.8lbs
This week... 184.2 lbs (-2.6lbs)
A total loss of 105.4 lbs
Im back on track! I wish my weight gain could just go away and I was back in the 170's again, but thats not how it works. I just need to focous this week and make good choices. I would LOVE to be 179 next Sunday!!! Is that possible?! 5.2 lbs. I bet I can if I work hard! But if I dont reach that goal oh well, as long as I tried my hardest........
Monday, May 23, 2011
"ONLY DO TODAY WHAT YOU CAN DO FOREVER!"
So, you can just disregard my last post! LOL I have learned ONE important lesson about myself. Someone on youtube was kind enough to remind me of it this weekend. I have a saying that I have lived by through this whole weight loss experience,
"ONLY DO TODAY WHAT YOU CAN DO FOREVER!"
I truly believe I stopped losing weight when I stopped living by this. I was in such a hurry to GET TO GOAL, that I started trying to get there FASTER. I started counting calories along with my points, then carbs, then cutting out certain foods, uping my exercise, lowering calories, taking laxatives, using direutics, and so on. I started doing all this last August, when i reached 100lbs lost and a year on WW. I stopped remembering why Im doing all this and all I thought about was losing the rest as soon as possible. I was unhappy, withdrew from people, and researched weight loss all the time. I started eating foods i didnt like and....I STARTED BINGING!!!
I have learned, I can not cut things out or tell myself i cant have something. Becasue that will be all i want. Then Ill binge. Its a horrible cycle. I need to refocus myself and go back to how i was...
"ONLY DO TODAY WHAT YOU CAN DO FOREVER!"
That was the only way I was able to lose weight and get this far. I need to stop and follow my own advice. No more obsessing. No more cutting things out. Only creating a way to live for the rest of my life. Creating habits that i can do forever. Slowly. It doesnt matter WHEN I get to goal. It matters HOW I get there. In a healthy way. There is no going off plan...because its not a plan, its my lifestyle.
Exercise has never been a issue for me. i love it. I exercise even when I eat bad. Exercise is a part of my life, I enjoy it and look forward to it. I need to focus on doing the same with food. Eating a certain way, forever. So I wont be cutting foods out. I need to learn to deal with my issues with food. Cutting things out just makes me want them more and causes me to binge.
I hate when i say Im going to do something and then change my mind. I feel like Im lost and have no idea what I need to do. I know everything I need to know to lose weight. I just need to stick with what works. :) I have maintained my 100lb weight loss for almost a year now. I am so proud of that. I need to remember how far I have come and not worry so much about how fast i get to goal.
"ONLY DO TODAY WHAT YOU CAN DO FOREVER!"
I truly believe I stopped losing weight when I stopped living by this. I was in such a hurry to GET TO GOAL, that I started trying to get there FASTER. I started counting calories along with my points, then carbs, then cutting out certain foods, uping my exercise, lowering calories, taking laxatives, using direutics, and so on. I started doing all this last August, when i reached 100lbs lost and a year on WW. I stopped remembering why Im doing all this and all I thought about was losing the rest as soon as possible. I was unhappy, withdrew from people, and researched weight loss all the time. I started eating foods i didnt like and....I STARTED BINGING!!!
I have learned, I can not cut things out or tell myself i cant have something. Becasue that will be all i want. Then Ill binge. Its a horrible cycle. I need to refocus myself and go back to how i was...
"ONLY DO TODAY WHAT YOU CAN DO FOREVER!"
That was the only way I was able to lose weight and get this far. I need to stop and follow my own advice. No more obsessing. No more cutting things out. Only creating a way to live for the rest of my life. Creating habits that i can do forever. Slowly. It doesnt matter WHEN I get to goal. It matters HOW I get there. In a healthy way. There is no going off plan...because its not a plan, its my lifestyle.
Exercise has never been a issue for me. i love it. I exercise even when I eat bad. Exercise is a part of my life, I enjoy it and look forward to it. I need to focus on doing the same with food. Eating a certain way, forever. So I wont be cutting foods out. I need to learn to deal with my issues with food. Cutting things out just makes me want them more and causes me to binge.
I hate when i say Im going to do something and then change my mind. I feel like Im lost and have no idea what I need to do. I know everything I need to know to lose weight. I just need to stick with what works. :) I have maintained my 100lb weight loss for almost a year now. I am so proud of that. I need to remember how far I have come and not worry so much about how fast i get to goal.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Hi, My name is April and I am a compulsive over eater....
I am tired...SO tired of my war with food. EVERYDAY I fight with myself about food. My thoughts seem to focus on food.
'How many points?' 'How many calories?' 'Its just ONE cookie!' 'A diet coke will help you feel full.' 'You have lost so much weight, what is one days to enjoy all the food you want!' 'Its just pizza! You wont gain all your weight back!' 'You can start over tomorrow.' 'Eat everything you want, casue tomorrow we get strict!' 'Ill just eat less tomorrow.' 'Ill exercise more.' 'JUST ONE BITE!' 'I exercised today, I deserve it!' 'I dont want to deprive myself.' 'Im so upset, it will make me feel better!''Just this one time!'
I feel like Im the only one who deals with this. How can others lose weight and not have such a struggle with food! WHY cant I just be NORMAL!!! I hate obsessing over this!
I had a bad day today....I have no excuses. I have NO idea WHY I over eat...or binge. I do know its a problem and I NEED to fix it now before I gain weight.
I was thinking...WHAT are my trigger foods? I have 3.
My number 1 is COOKIES.
Small cookies, big cookies, chocolate, sugar, oatmeal, store bought, bakery, hard, soft...you name it...I will eat just about ANY type of cookie...and then i want MORE.....
Number 2 is peanut butter. I just cant have a serving...I want to eat it all...
Number 3 BREAD. I LOVE bread. I cant seem to commit to the new WW program (points plus) because I cant eat bread AS MUCH as I would like to.
I have talked to a nutritionist an she says the reason I crave PB is because Im not getting enough fat or protein in my diet. SO TRUE!
I think I have a issue with cookies because of SUGAR. And bread because of FLOUR.
So, as I was thinking (and have been thinking for awhile) I am a addict. The only way to fix my binging is to be ABSTINENT. Since I have pin pointed what I need to eliminate it seems I need to be abstinent from SUGAR AND FLOUR.
I have been contemplating this for a while, but I always have a problem when I cut foods out...I seem to binge on them. So as much as I want to give up flour and sugar...it may be years before i do completly. I may start making small goals. Like this week..NO COOKIES. :)
"My name is April, and I am a compulsive over eater...."
'How many points?' 'How many calories?' 'Its just ONE cookie!' 'A diet coke will help you feel full.' 'You have lost so much weight, what is one days to enjoy all the food you want!' 'Its just pizza! You wont gain all your weight back!' 'You can start over tomorrow.' 'Eat everything you want, casue tomorrow we get strict!' 'Ill just eat less tomorrow.' 'Ill exercise more.' 'JUST ONE BITE!' 'I exercised today, I deserve it!' 'I dont want to deprive myself.' 'Im so upset, it will make me feel better!''Just this one time!'
I feel like Im the only one who deals with this. How can others lose weight and not have such a struggle with food! WHY cant I just be NORMAL!!! I hate obsessing over this!
I had a bad day today....I have no excuses. I have NO idea WHY I over eat...or binge. I do know its a problem and I NEED to fix it now before I gain weight.
I was thinking...WHAT are my trigger foods? I have 3.
My number 1 is COOKIES.
Number 2 is peanut butter. I just cant have a serving...I want to eat it all...Number 3 BREAD. I LOVE bread. I cant seem to commit to the new WW program (points plus) because I cant eat bread AS MUCH as I would like to.
I have talked to a nutritionist an she says the reason I crave PB is because Im not getting enough fat or protein in my diet. SO TRUE!
I think I have a issue with cookies because of SUGAR. And bread because of FLOUR.
So, as I was thinking (and have been thinking for awhile) I am a addict. The only way to fix my binging is to be ABSTINENT. Since I have pin pointed what I need to eliminate it seems I need to be abstinent from SUGAR AND FLOUR.
I have been contemplating this for a while, but I always have a problem when I cut foods out...I seem to binge on them. So as much as I want to give up flour and sugar...it may be years before i do completly. I may start making small goals. Like this week..NO COOKIES. :)
"My name is April, and I am a compulsive over eater...."
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
May 17, 2011
I am still so TIRED!I am still getting used to having no adderall to rely on to give me energy. My focus is ok though. Even though I feel a little lazy I am still managing to get stuff accomplished. HOWEVER, since I use a bodybugg (which I LOVE) I am able to monitor how many calories I burn throughout the day. I averaged about 3700 WITH the adderall. Now I average 3000. Hmmmmm......THAT is a huge difference!! I can live with that though.
Today I also discovered something awesome!! I found something that I can replace my diet coke with!! If you watch my youtube videos you know I drink MASSIVE amounts of diet coke.I sadly ONLY drink diet coke. I do not drink water. i am so ashamed to say. I drink 6...yes...SIX of these:
I believe thats about 384 oz? Somedays I actually drink more. :( TODAY I decided to try something I saw on a commercial. I surprised myself by actually liking it! Today I am proud to say I oonly had ONE of my normal sodas around 3pm. I drank 8 glasses of normal water and 4 bottles of this:
I am proud of myself today. :) I also stayed on track with my eating and exercise. I am finding it alittle harder to get up early to go to the gym. I used to get up at 5:15am for the gym. That turned into hitting snooze a couple times and finally dragging my butt out of bed at 5:55am. :( I plan to work on that. I only have a small headache today even though I drank 1/6 of my normal amout of caffiene. Also I like that the Propel water does not have aspartame.So by next week hopefully I will be done with diet coke.
Not much else to report. lol My acne has decreased ALOT! I have had people mention my skin is looking better.
I think I may start doing a daily summary of what I eat or how many points I used and my exercise. :)
Today I did :
*45min on the elliptical and 30 min strenghth training my legs and Abs.
*I ate 25pts (what Im aloud since I am doing WW Momentum NOT PointsPlus right now)
*Thats 1890 calories (Id like that to be lower)
*As of 9pm I have burned :
So I already have a good burn today! Ill probably do another 100-150 calories before midnight. So It was a great day!! :)
ALSO, I would like to thank the people who have already read my blog. I am making this mostly for myself, like I did with my youtube videos, but if anyone finds it useful thats great. I think its great to be able to look back and read how i felt and what was going on in my life. I am so grateful i decided to document my weight loss journey. It keeps me on track and motivates me to get to my goal. (which is currently 160lbs)
Losing weight has been the hardest thing I have ever done. Id rather GIVE BIRTH 100 times then have to do this again. I hate thought that I look in the mirror everyday and I FORGET how far i come. I seem to just focus on where Im NOT. I pick myself apart, and usually leave the mirror feeling bad about myself rather then be so proud of who I become and how I look. I started off in a size 26! Im now a 10!! I just dont understand why THAT big of a difference goes unnoticed to me. I need to learn to be happy with myself, no matter what I weigh. I have a problem thinking 'No one loves me or cares about me'. I dont know WHY I think this, but I do. I know its not true, but its just how i feel. But how can others truly love me if I cant even love myself?!
“If you aren't good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you'll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren't even giving to yourself.”
GOOOOOD NIIIGHTTT!
April
Today I also discovered something awesome!! I found something that I can replace my diet coke with!! If you watch my youtube videos you know I drink MASSIVE amounts of diet coke.I sadly ONLY drink diet coke. I do not drink water. i am so ashamed to say. I drink 6...yes...SIX of these:
Not much else to report. lol My acne has decreased ALOT! I have had people mention my skin is looking better.
I think I may start doing a daily summary of what I eat or how many points I used and my exercise. :)
Today I did :
*45min on the elliptical and 30 min strenghth training my legs and Abs.
*I ate 25pts (what Im aloud since I am doing WW Momentum NOT PointsPlus right now)
*Thats 1890 calories (Id like that to be lower)
*As of 9pm I have burned :
ALSO, I would like to thank the people who have already read my blog. I am making this mostly for myself, like I did with my youtube videos, but if anyone finds it useful thats great. I think its great to be able to look back and read how i felt and what was going on in my life. I am so grateful i decided to document my weight loss journey. It keeps me on track and motivates me to get to my goal. (which is currently 160lbs)
Losing weight has been the hardest thing I have ever done. Id rather GIVE BIRTH 100 times then have to do this again. I hate thought that I look in the mirror everyday and I FORGET how far i come. I seem to just focus on where Im NOT. I pick myself apart, and usually leave the mirror feeling bad about myself rather then be so proud of who I become and how I look. I started off in a size 26! Im now a 10!! I just dont understand why THAT big of a difference goes unnoticed to me. I need to learn to be happy with myself, no matter what I weigh. I have a problem thinking 'No one loves me or cares about me'. I dont know WHY I think this, but I do. I know its not true, but its just how i feel. But how can others truly love me if I cant even love myself?!
“If you aren't good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you'll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren't even giving to yourself.”
GOOOOOD NIIIGHTTT!
April
Monday, May 16, 2011
Week 89 Weigh In:
This weigh in is a sad one...
Starting weight : 289.6lbs
Last week... 175.6lbs
This week... 186.8lbs (+11.2 lbs)
A total loss of 103lbs
I can not tell you how I managed to gain 11.2 lbs in ONE week. What i can tell you is...YES..I did. I am ashamed. But there it is..
And THAT IS IT!!!!!!! I have been OUT of the 180's since December 5th. I hate seeing it back there on the scale. I am frustrated with myself. BUT I was on track all day today. :) And I plan to STAY there!! I hate looking in the mirror and seeing the weight gain in my face especially. :(
Starting weight : 289.6lbs
Last week... 175.6lbs
This week... 186.8lbs (+11.2 lbs)
A total loss of 103lbs
I can not tell you how I managed to gain 11.2 lbs in ONE week. What i can tell you is...YES..I did. I am ashamed. But there it is..
And THAT IS IT!!!!!!! I have been OUT of the 180's since December 5th. I hate seeing it back there on the scale. I am frustrated with myself. BUT I was on track all day today. :) And I plan to STAY there!! I hate looking in the mirror and seeing the weight gain in my face especially. :(
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